'You're useless sometimes': 72-year-old lady snaps at helpful neighbor for not fixing her TV fast enough to watch a full episode of Jeapordy, neighbor refuses to lend a hand ever again

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 17, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Are you tech-savvy? You might not really feel like you are, but to older people, you might just be considered a tech wizard. My grandparents are just pushing 70 at the moment, and yet even they act like I am some type of genius for showing them how to take a screenshot with an iPhone. They don't need my help that much, though, because they've mastered the art of Googling querries and finding helpful videos on YouTube. 

In our story today, a woman's elderly neighbor has not quite gotten the hang of her smart TV. Honestly, I don't blame her; I've only used them at hotels while abroad, and they're all different and a little confusing. Our protagonist helps her when she has the time, but when the 72-year-old snaps at her for making her miss an episode of Jeapordy because she didn't respond to her beck and call fast enough, she bows out from her charitable duties. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to help my [72F] elderly neighbor with her smart TV anymore after she insulted me?

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  • 02
    I (28F) live in a small apartment complex and have been helping my 72-year-old neighbor, "Nancy," with little tech things for the past year or so-mostly setting up her smart TV, helping her connect to
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  • 03
    WiFi, explaining how to use her Roku, etc. I work from home and she knows I have a flexible schedule, so she'll occasionally knock and ask for help. I've never minded until recently.
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  • 05
    Last week, Nancy called me in a panic because she "couldn't find Jeopardy" and was afraid she missed it. I came over, and it turned out she'd accidentally changed the input on her TV to the Blu-ray player. I fixed it in about 30 seconds.
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  • 06
    Instead of saying thank you, she snapped, "You took your time. I probably missed half of it. You're useless sometimes." I was honestly shocked. I didn't even respond, just left and went back to work.
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  • 07
    Since then, I've decided I'm done playing tech support. She knocked on my door twice this week asking for help again (one of which was because her remote batteries di d), and both times I politely told her I was busy and she should try calling her son (who lives 30 minutes away, but I know he's helped her before).
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  • 08
    Now a couple of neighbors are saying I'm being r de and that Nancy "relies" on me. One even said, "You know she doesn't mean it, that's just how older people talk." But I don't think being older gives someone a free pass to be ungrateful or insult me.
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  • Well, if they think that Nancy needs someone to rely on, why won't they step up? Why does the responsibility lie on our protagonist? Are these mouthy neighbors incapable of using a smart TV, too?

  • 09
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  • 10
    ΝΤΑ MAKSassy The next time she knocks, you can tell her, "Nancy, I'm really surprised that you haven't apologized for being so r de the last time I helped you. Let me know when you remember your manners." And close the door.
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  • 11
    Ndmndh1016 Like you're saying it to a 3 year old too.
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  • 12
    NTA phyrsis "Sorry, but I'm too useless to help you. Hope you can find someone useful!" <close door>
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  • 13
    Available_Writer4144 Agreed. If it were me, I think I would tell her the next time, "last time I helped, you called me 'useless'. I don't know why you want me to help again if you feel that way?" If she apologized, I'd probably go back to helping her some times. But I would also definitely be too busy sometimes.
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  • 14
    Japrider I'd most likely do this. Give her a chance to see her error and forgive her. We all make mistakes. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries on even older people. We all deserve respect regardless of age etc.
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  • 15
    emmany63 And let's not forget that unless she has dementia, 72 IS NOT THAT OLD, and certainly not old enough to get away with "oh old people talk that way."
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  • 16
    My mom and dad lived to 82 and 90, respectively. Not once did I hear them talking to a person helping them in that way. Dad talked to me that way, LOL, but even then I'd walk away until he apologized (which he always did).
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  • 17
    laynslay Yeah 100% tell her she insulted you and shouldn't expect help anymore. The reason people are like this in old age is because they got away with treating people like sh and no one told them they were being a sh
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  • 18
    Dramatic_Films NTA she's old enough to know how to apologize if she truly didn't mean it. If she isn't willing to take ownership of what she did, then there's no reason to assume she's sorry for being so r de. You are under no obligation to help and rearrange your day.
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  • 19
    Torch Read OP Thanks, I just know she needs help and I started to feel bad after the anger wore off
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  • 20
    freerangelibrarian Im 73 and I'd never be r de to someone helping me with tech. (It's usually my niece). Instead I make cookies for them.
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  • 21
    Ok_Zookeepergame5141 NTA She's 72 not 102. And even if she was there's no excuse for being r de. I used to work as a geriatric care giver and one thing I learned is that if they are an a h_le old person it's because they were an a h le young person. Just an a hole in general.
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  • 22
    Your neighbor in her desperation to have her needs met totally disregarded your feelings and apparently your job. She doesn't give even half a sh about you. Only what you can do for her. She can't even be bothered to learn how to use her tv.
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  • 24
    Naive-Stable-3581 1. Ask the neighbors why they are not helping her and tell them they're selfish and mean. 2. If they say they don't know how, say "Google it. I did."
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  • 25
    3. Is your neighbor experiencing early dementia symptoms? Or is she just aj ? Like does it seem out if character? Bc that's how it starts. You might mention it to her kid if you see them.
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  • 26
    4. Regardless of root cause you don't owe ppl free services. You have been kind. You get to choose how to move thru the world and you get to walk away from ppl who make you uncomfortable and anyone telling you different is
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  • Even if her neighbor is experiencing cognitive decline, our protagonist doesn't need to put herself in a place where she is being demeaned. 

  • 27
    Icy-Tutor-9027 Nancy may have some cognitive decline and just snapped on you because of that. When people have dementia or Alzheimer's they can completely change personas and it is literally nothing personal.
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  • 28
    They do not have the emotional capacity or cognitive capacity to behave any differently. What you describe sounds like her emotional upset created a moment like this.
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  • 29
    That being said, it doesn't feel good to have someone treat you like that. I would tell her that you have been taking some space because of how she treated you.
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womanhood neighbors neighborhood adulting technology neighborhood-drama grandma relationships aging baby boomers entitled Bad Neighbor elderly television
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